Guest Memo: Satire From The Onion - 'FDA Approves Salmonella'

FDA director Stephen Sundlof okays the bacteria for eating, drinking, and applying directly to the skin. [the Onion. March 10, 2009.]

On The Lighter Side

From the Natural~Specialty Foods Memo (NSFM) Editor's Desk: As we're all too aware, the food-borne pathogen salmonella is a tough one to shake. In 2007 it showed up in salad greens in the United States. In 2008 it appeared in fresh peppers and Roma tomatoes. And now -- its peanut butter. Salmonella appears to be the enterobacteria that keeps on giving when it comes to appearing in various parts -- and products -- of the U.S. food supply chain.

And try as it might, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) just hasn't been able to figure out how to stop these frequent and very serious food safety issues centered around Salmonella contamination in a host of very different foods and food products.

Perhaps the satirical publication "the Onion" has the right approach in a piece it published today. In that piece, "FDA Approves Salmonella," "the Onion" offers an "if you can't beat it embrace it" approach to the Salmonella contamination issue.

We reprint the humor piece from "the Onion" below (in italics). Remember -- it's satire:

WASHINGTON—Calling it "perfectly safe for the most part," and "not nearly as destructive or fatal as previously thought," the Food and Drug Administration approved the enterobacteria salmonella for human consumption this week.

The federal agency, which has struggled in recent years to contain the food-borne pathogen, and repeatedly failed to prevent tainted products from reaching store shelves, announced Monday that salmonella was now completely okay for all Americans to enjoy.

"Rigorous testing has shown that salmonella is...fine," FDA director of food safety Stephen Sundlof said. "In fact, our research indicates that there's no need to pull any more foodstuffs from the market. Not raw chicken. Not contaminated spinach. Not thousands of jars of harmful peanut butter. Not anything."

"It's approved," Sundlof continued."Healthy, delicious salmonella is finally approved."

Following the announcement, the FDA released a 20-page report, which included evidence that salmonella is barely more dangerous than other live-culture products such as yogurt, and results from a clinical trial which found that participants who ingested salmonella were totally fine for up to three minutes.

The report also concluded that salmonella has been around American kitchens for centuries now, and must therefore be at least harmless, if not actually good for us.

"Of course, as with everything, we encourage moderation," lead FDA researcher Phillip Millar said. "Don't just eat a whole pint of salmonella in one sitting. It's like ice cream or, for example, E. coli in that respect."

Added Millar, "A little bit goes a long way."

According to FDA officials, the intracellular bacterium will be commercially available in a variety of forms. Plans are already in the works to offer salmonella as a flavorful topping, food spread, powdered drink mix, dessert gelatin, and as a "no frills" yellow liquid guaranteed to enhance one's overall eating experience.

With hundreds of possible applications, the newly approved gram-negative microbe will also open the door for many innovative and exciting products.

"This is thrilling news," Hellmann's CEO Robert Reichert said. "We've been waiting for the federal go-ahead to produce salmonella for decades now. In fact, we have an entire line of lukewarm, sun-soaked, and partially turned mayonnaises that we just know Americans will love."

A variety of products containing the newly approved food-borne microbe will hit non-refrigerated shelves this month. [the Onion. March 10, 2009.]

One of several new foods to feature the motile microorganism is Salmonell-Os—an O-shaped breakfast cereal packed with hearty typhoid clusters—which is expected to hit grocery stores by April.

Other products currently in development include Salmonella Helper, Kraft's Extremely Painful Mac, 'Nella Wafers, and peanut butter.

"Now that salmonella's been approved, we're working overtime to get our products to market," said David Wellbrook, head of sales for Oscar Mayer, the nation's leading producer of bologna-based goods. "I've never seen so many orders come through in a single year, much less a single day. It's incredible."

News of salmonella's approval also comes as a relief to many homemakers, who, until now, had been cautioned against letting the bacteria spread.

"It used to be such a pain to have to sanitize my kitchen," Chicago resident Margaret Thewles said. "Now all I need is one cutting board. I'll cut raw poultry on it, prepare my salad veggies on it, and then use it to serve dessert when I'm done."

Salmonella is said to contain the seven essential forms of bacteria growing infants need. [the Onion. March 10, 2009.]

Michael Weinback, a California native and father of two young children, agreed with Thewles."

This is…arrghhh…great," Weinback said from the bottom of his living room stairs. "Oh, Jesus…here it comes agai—uuuuhhhhh, Christ. Get hel…just get…aarrghh.

[Natural~Specialty Foods Memo (NSFM) Editor's Note: NSFM thanks"the Onion" for permission to reprint the satirical story above. Click here to read the original satirical piece at "the Onion" Web site.

Food Safety Memo: Dioxin Contamination Spreads From Pork to Beef in Ireland; Food Safety Deja Vu All Over Again on the Emerald Isle

A sign in a supermarket meat case in Ireland informs shoppers there will be no pork sold until further notice. The Irish government is today telling supermarkets it's OK to sell fresh pork products again, and telling consumers it's fine to eat Irish pork. But will they 'bite' right away? {Photo credit: Telegraph - UK.]

It's food safety crisis deja vu all over again for Ireland's hog, cattle and dairy farmers, its food processing and retailing industry, and for government and consumers.

In the 1990's Ireland went through a serious food safety issue over BSE in cattle, the deadly brain disease that has implications for human health if enough meat from such infected cattle is consumed.

In March 1996, Ireland's health minister, Steven Dorrell, announced to the country in a press conference from the aisle of an Irish supermarket that cattle produced in the nation may not be safe to eat because of BSE. This announcement sent shockwaves through the farming and food industry, and among consumers, in Ireland, a country that prides itself on producing and consuming most of its own cattle and hogs for national consumption as well as for export, mostly throughout Europe, but also globally including to Asia.

Ireland's BSE scare was a long one. It changed how that nation viewed and handled food safety, including leading to the establishment of new national food safety regulations and regulatory agencies.

But 12 years later it appears the lessons learned and policies created from the 1990's BSE food safety incident weren't enough to prevent another food safety problem.

Last Saturday, it was announced by Ireland's government that it had found significant levels of dioxin in animal feed at farms in Northern Ireland, most particularly in feed fed to hogs. It wasn't until 24 hours later though, late on Sunday, that the government took action, clearing all of the fresh pork products off the shelves in every supermarket, food store and butcher shop in the country.

Now today, it appears the dioxin contamination not only has been found in pork, but also in beef, as the contaminated animal feed looks to have been fed to cattle in Northern Ireland as well as to hogs.

The government is saying it's safe to eat Irish pork and beef from the region, and safe to drink milk from cows in Northern Ireland, despite the contaminated feed. However, among retailers and consumers in Ireland, and in countries where Irish meat is exported to, that assurance isn't being translated into sales (or consumer purchases) of the meat, nor do many feel assured by the government's safety pronouncements right now.

The issue is heating up in the Irish and United Kingdom media. Many questions are being asked by reporters, retailers and consumers. Below is a sampling of stories on the latest food safety problem in Ireland -- and in the world.

BBC News: Beef and milk 'safe to consume'... Belfast Telegraph: Milk supplies restricted amid animal feed scare... Government of Ireland press release: No recall action after dioxins found in Irish beef - Summary... European Union statement: EU blames recycled food plant for Irish pork contamination... Lurgan Today: Beef safe, minister insists... AFP: Irish food scare spreads to cattle... Guardian - UK: Ireland's food crisis spreads to beef... Telegraph - UK: Irish beef contaminated with same chemical as pork...

Belfast Telegraph: Beef contamination threat at eight Northern Ireland farms... Irish Times: Farmers urge consumers to continue buying beef... The Local - Sweden: Tainted Irish meat delivered to Swedish schools...Guardian - UK: EU tells UK to explain its tainted pig-feed problem... The Irish Independent: I will continue to eat pork... Yorkshire Post: Supermarkets move to reassure customers over pork scare...UK retailers strive to identify contaminated Irish pork products... Talking Retail - UK: Tesco still selling Irish pork after dioxin scare... Retailers warned over Irish pork...

Ansa News: Contaminated pork risk low in Italy... Manx Radio - UK: Producer says 'think local', after scare... Irish Herald: Food scare will be with us for years... but still no one quits... Belfast Telegraph: NI pork industry given all-clear in dioxin scare... Belfast Telegraph: China becomes latest country to ban Irish pork.

Ireland's pork (and now beef) food safety crisis coming just a couple weeks before the Christmas holiday, a holiday in which pork and beef play a major role, is something sure not to please food retailers and consumers alike.

Pork and beef are popular in Ireland for holiday tables in a variety of forms, ranging from cocktail sausages and links for party appetizers, to hams and roasts for dinner entrees.

Despite the all is clear given by Irish authorities in terms of the safety of the meat, we have a feeling more Irish households than would normally be the case might just be having a bird as their holiday dinner entree rather than a center-of-the-plate crown beef or pork roast this year.

The issue is global as well, since Ireland exports fresh meats outside of its borders, particularly its prized Irish pork. Many countries have already banned Irish pork, including Sweden and China.

Once again, globally we are seeing another food safety crisis. The stakes are getting higher for some sort of global meeting on the food safety and security issue we believe. This must include emerging countries like China, which needs to dramatically improve its food safety system and laws.

And as the Irish meat issue demonstrates, along with the numerous food safety issues in recent years in the U.S., food safety problems aren't limited to emerging countries like China. Instead they also are a problem for developed western nations and economies.

Because the world will continue to get smaller (global trade) and flatter (more global trade) we believe unless the food safety and security issue is addressed on a global basis as well as nationally by the countries of the world, it will continue to grow, and continue to get worse overall.

Food Safety Memo: U.S. Federal Government to Detain All Chinese Milk-Based Food and Beverage Products at the Border Until Shown to Be Safe

On Tuesday, November 11, we wrote this story, " Food Safety Memo: U.S. President-Elect Obama Said to Plan On Beefing Up FDA Enforcement, Regulations; Speculation Rampant On New FDA Chief about plans by the incoming U.S. President Barack Obama and his administration to take action to beef up the regulatory powers and enforcement activity of the U.S. Food & Drug Administration (FDA) once he assumes office in 72 days.

On Tuesday we also wrote this analysis piece, "Food Safety Memo: Maybe the Chinese Government Needs to Look to its Minority Muslim Population for Food Safety Advice and Expertise?" suggesting a potential solution for the Government of China to its chronic and serious food safety problems.

Late today both of our Tuesday stories sort of came together from a public policy standpoint. To the surprise of many observers, the U.S. federal government announced today it would start detaining all imported food products from China that contain milk, such as candy, snacks, bakery goods, pet foods and other Chinese products that contain milk, and hold there there until tests demonstrate the products aren't contaminated with melamine or anything else.

Below are a number of news reports on the surprise announcement by the U.S. federal government:

~New York Times, November 13, 2008: FDA Detains Chinese Imports for Testing

~Washington Post, November 13, 2008: US Blocks Chinese Milk

~Others: The Citizen Daily - BBC News - CNN International - The Epoch Times

This development could have some serious political and economic implications between the U.S. and China. After all, China is buying most of the government securities the U.S. is issuing as fast as the government printing presses can produce the notes to pay for the nation's $700 billion financial industry bailout, the economic stimulus package, two wars and a host of other programs and operational activities. China in affect is currently the United State's number one banker.

The way China earns the money to be the banker to the U.S. is from exporting goods. And the U.S. is China's number one market. As a result, China might not be pleased about the new U.S. policy of detaining its exported food and beverage products containing milk at the border. Bankers can get angry without much provoking these days, especially when that banker has a silent agreement with the nation's superpower, the U.S., to be its financier in return for lax trade enforcement policies.

We agree with the U.S. federal government's move though. After all, why risk death and illness from these tainted milk products, which have killed four children in China and sickened thousands there and in other Asian nations. Numerous countries like Japan and Australia have slapped complete bans on Chinese milk-based products in fact because of the melamine contamination.

We also think the move by the U.S., which will anger China initially, will act as a shot in the arm in terms of further motivating the Communist government to fix its food safety system. That's something that's overdue for the world's fastest-growing economy.

Food Safety Memo: Maybe the Chinese Government Needs to Look to its Minority Muslim Population for Food Safety Advice and Expertise?

Employees remove milk products contaminated with melamine from the shelves of a supermarket in China's Hefei, Anhui province on September 16, 2008, after Chinese Government officials announced a nationwide recall. [Photo Credit: Reuters.]

The Chinese government may not need to look any farther than to the country's own minority Muslim population to help the world's largest nation solve its serious and chronic food safety problem.

China's most recent food safety problem, and a big one it is, involves powdered and fluid milk, along with numerous food products made with the milk, that's been tainted by the chemical melamine. The contaminated milk has thus far caused the deaths of four children and sickened over 50,000, according to official Chinese government reports. Most observers inside and outside China however believe as many as twice that number of Chinese children have been made ill by the adulterated milk.

Chinese candy made with the adulterated milk also has been found and pulled off the shelves of Asian grocery markets in the U.S. and in Europe. No confirmed cases of illness from the candy has been reported in the U.S. or Europe to date though.

Additionally, because powdered milk and products like candy and numerous others made with the contaminated milk were exported to countries throughout Asia, there have been numerous cases of children becoming ill in those countries because of the Chinese powdered milk and milk-based products.

High levels of melamine in milk -- and it appears the melamine was laced into the milk and related products on purpose -- cause kidney problems, particularly in small children. The reason experts expect the melamine was intentionally put in the Chinese milk is two fold: The percentage of the chemical in the milk appears too high to have been a mere accident, and adding melamine to milk increases it protein level.

The last point is important because the Chinese government requires a certain protein level in milk. Chinese government officials believe chemical company sales representatives in the country convinced farmers to add the melamine, allowing the farmers to make more money off the milk because the chemical artificially raises the protein level in the milk, allowing for higher profits. Melamine means less milk fat which means higher profits.

The majority of China's Muslim population lives in the country's Xinjiang province. There, as well as in other Muslim communities in China, as is the case with devout Muslims throughout the world, the community adheres to strict Muslim dietary laws known as halal, or "permissible" in Arabic. As a result, the provincial government and food industry serving the Muslim population in Xinjiang province follows the strict halal dietary laws for food preparation and safety. It's estimated 70% of the world's Muslims follow Islamic halal dietary laws.

Halal incorporates strict Muslim dietary laws - similar to kosher rules practiced by observant Jews - where meat is slaughtered according to traditional guidelines and pork is forbidden, among other ritual food preparation methods.

All food must be certified by a local Islamic Council. At meat plants, imams or nonclerics trained in ritual slaughter are present daily. Council members also periodically visit processing factories to ensure compliance with religious laws, while government inspectors are ultimately responsible for food safety.

According to a story written by San Francisco Chronicle foreign service correspondent Reese Erlich, who did the reporting in China's Xinjiang province, "In past months, hundreds of Xinjiang residents have been sickened and an infant has died from melamine-tainted milk products imported from other regions of China. But so far, provincial officials say, Xinjiang's domestic milk supply has remained safe in part because of halal oversight."

In the story published in the Chronicle last week, Erlich reports the province's governmental officials and food industry say they "are determined to keep it that way by combining strict government inspection with the moral authority of Islam."

Read Reese Erlich's report, "Islamic dietary laws help Chinese region's milk," here.

As is often the case, sometimes the solutions to a problem are right in a country or industries back yard.

Both the Islamic faith's halal and the Jewish faith's kosher laws for how food is to be prepared for sale offer important food safety guidelines that can be used in conjunction with scientific-based guidelines and in combination with governmental regulation and enforcement to ensure a safe food supply.

Of course, in the case of the Chinese milk contaminated with melamine, which appears to have been an intentional act, laws and strict enforcement of such laws must be present as well. And dairy farmers and other food producers must know that if caught intentionally adulterating the food supply they will be punished severely, which shouldn't be a problem in politically Communist governed China, even though its economic system is a form of mixed capitalism. But it is a problem.

China though has a far more serious and systemic food safety problem beyond the intentional adulterating of foods and beverages. It's sanitary systems are lax, quality control standards poor, and regulations out of date and in many cases non-existent.

This is where learning from its minority Muslim community makes sense on a practical basis. Adopting aspects of the halal system would improve China's food safety standards 100%. And combining some of these time honored processes, which work, also would be politically smart, as China needs to better integrate its Muslim minority into the nation's mainstream.

Doing so also would help create increased confidence throughout Asia and the rest of the world vis-a-vis China's food exports. Right now that confidence among China's key trading partners -- Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, Australia, Europe and the U.S., among others -- is at an all time low.

China is the world's most populated country and the fastest-growing economically. Its goal is to become a 21rst century developed country as fast as possible. In order to do so though China can't have a 19th century food safety system, which it does.

The country needs to rapidly upgrade it food safety system. Borrowing some of the time-tested halal techniques from the nation's Muslim community, along with modernizing China's food regulatory, inspection and enforcement policies and procedures, could be a way for the country to improve its food safety system in the most rapid and at least initially comprehensive way.

Food Safety Memo: U.S. President-Elect Obama Said to Plan On Beefing Up FDA Enforcement, Regulations; Speculation Rampant On New FDA Chief

USA: Election 2008 Special Report

For the last few years under the administration of President George W. Bush, the United States has experienced food safety after food safety problem, with both domestically-grown fresh produce and imported foods.

For example, there have been the major salmonella outbreaks from domestically-grown fresh produce -- first in bagged spinach and lettuce greens, then in Roma tomatoes and peppers. Numerous people died from these outbreaks and many more fell ill.

Then there's been the host of food safety problems from imported foods. The most recent one being Chinese-produced powdered and fluid milk intentionally contaminated with melamine, along with products like candy made in China with the adulterated milk. Additionally, there have been many others as well, including contaminated snack foods from China and candy from Mexico with high lead content, to name just two incidents.

None of the adulterated Chinese powdered milk made it to U.S. shores. But some of the melamine-laced candy did. Fortunately it has thus far been discovered and pulled off the shelves of Asian food stores in the U.S. before it could harm consumers.

Milk laced with higher than trace amounts of melamine, like the Chinese milk and milk-related products have been, can cause serious kidney damage, particularly in small children. As of yet there haven't been any reported deaths or cases of serious illness in the U.S. from the milk-based candy containing melamine.

Most experts and observers -- including many agricultural and food industry companies -- blame the rash of food safety problems in both domestic and imported foods in the U.S. on the deregulation policies over the last eight years of the Bush Administration, along with a lack of proper funding of the U.S. Food & Drug Administration (FDA) by both the President and Congress.

The lack of enforcement is likely to change under the new administration of President-Elect Brarack Obama though, Neera Tanden, a senior Obama advisor, tells the Associated Press (AP).

Food safety will be a priority for Obama's FDA, she says. "He (Obama) thinks this is a fundamental role of government to ensure that people's food is safe and he has been concerned that we are not in a position to ensure that."

Read the AP's full report (in Italics) below:

Obama expected to bolster FDA oversigh for domestic, imported foods
By Ricardo Alonzo-Zaldivar
October 10, 2008

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA), bedeviled by a salmonella outbreak and tainted medicine and milk from China, is likely to monitor imports and fresh produce more closely under an Obama administration.

With President Bush no longer a roadblock, health officials also can expect new powers to control tobacco, from cigarettes to the recently introduced smokeless products called snus.

President-elect Obama, a former smoker struggling to avoid relapse, is a sponsor of legislation giving the FDA authority to control, but not ban, tobacco and nicotine.

Long seen as the government's premier consumer protection agency, the FDA stumbled under Bush. Recurring drug and food safety lapses came against a backdrop of shrinking budgets and long periods without a permanent leader. In Congress, a senior Republican complained the FDA had gotten too cozy with industry.

Obama is being urged to move quickly to appoint an FDA commissioner. Already more than a half-dozen names are in circulation: outside critics such as Cleveland Clinic cardiologist Dr. Steven Nissen; insiders such as Susan Wood, a former director of the FDA's women's health office; and public health advocates such as Dr. Joshua Sharfstein, Baltimore's health chief.

Food safety will be a priority for Obama's FDA. "He thinks this is a fundamental role of government to ensure that people's food is safe and he has been concerned that we are not in a position to ensure that," said Neera Tanden, a senior campaign adviser.

Obama will be working with a Democratic-led Congress, including lawmakers who have written legislation to bolster import inspections.

Only a fraction of imported food is inspected now. Foreign drug manufacturing plants can go years without an FDA visit. Democrats had considered fees on industry to pay for more FDA inspectors, but could not persuade the Bush administration to go along. They expect Obama to be receptive.

Tanden said Obama is open to the idea of requiring a tracing system for fresh produce. That became an issue during this summer's salmonella outbreak, after the FDA spent weeks hunting for tainted tomatoes only to find the culprit might have been hot peppers.

"An Obama administration would swing the pendulum back more to protection of public health," said William Hubbard, a retired FDA official who held top posts. "This bodes well for greater regulation in the food safety area, on imports, and on drug safety."

Under the tobacco proposal, the agency would be able to order changes in tobacco products to make them less toxic and addictive, but could not ban tobacco or nicotine. The bill passed the House and Senate with bipartisan support, but a veto threat from Bush kept it from getting out of Congress.

Aides to Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-Mass., co-author of the tobacco bill, say there is strong interest in getting the legislation passed soon after the new Congress convenes in January. Obama is a co-sponsor.

Natural~Specialty Foods Memo Issue Analysis

As the AP story also discusses, speculation is rampant over who President-Elect Obama will name to head the FDA. The names are all informed speculation right now. But one thing we know for sure is Obama won't carry the current Bush Administration FDA chief over into his administration like some are suggesting he might do with Defense Secretary Robert Gates.

The stories linked below further discuss and offer some analysis about the speculation on who Obama might name to head the U.S. Food & Drug Administration, including naming names:

Scientific American - November 7, 2008: Speculation swirls about Obama's EPA and FDA heads....Baltimore Sun - November 7, 2008: Baltimore's Sharfstein mentioned as possible FDA commissioner....Bloomberg - November 6, 2008: Woodcock Gains Support From Drugmakers for US FDA's Top Job. [Note: We think former Senator and Democratic candidate for President in 2004 Howard Dean, who is a medical doctor and announced yesterday he plans to leave his position as chairman of the Democratic Party when it is up next year, could be a candidate as well for FDA Commissioner, although we peg him more likely for Suregeon General if President-Elect Obama names him to a post in the administration.]

The Obama Administration isn't likely to get much opposition to strengthening the regulation of domestic and imported fresh produce and other foods from America's agriculture and food industries. For the last couple years the industries has been lobbying the Bush Administration for stronger enforcement of regulations , and higher FDA budgets, because the numerous food safety problems have not only hurt sales, they've also damaged the reputation of the food and agriculture industries among consumers.

In fact, earlier this year, the Bush Administration added a a couple billion dollars to the budget of the FDA as a reaction both to the numerous food safety problems as well as in response to requests directly from the industry to do so.

There's a particular across the board concern about stopping the food safety problems from goods imported into the U.S. -- and China just happens to be the country that time and again has had the most serious problems.

The U.S. (and the world) is locked in a financial and credit crisis, the U.S. is in an economic recession and the U.S. government has a record deficit and debt.

So far Since $700 billion has been appropriated -- $700 billion the U.S. doesn't have in real money -- to bail out America's banks and financial institutions.

Another nearly $100 billion has already been spent for a economic stimulus package (tax rebates to citizens). Those checks went out months ago and have seemed to do little to help the U.S. economy.

Congress is now talking about another stimulus package of $100 -to- $125 billion, perhaps enacted before the year is over.

Add just these three items together and you are talking about one trillion dollars. And there is more spending to come.

And of course, the U.S. doesn't have this trillion dollars. Rather, it just fires up the government printing presses, already running 24 hours a day, prints the currency, and then sells government-backed securities to the Chinese, Saudis, Japanese and Europeans to back the new money, greater a bigger deficit.

With the financial crisis and economic recession situation so pressing, we wonder how fast the Obama Administration will want to and be able to move on beefing up the FDA, which will cost at least a couple billion more to start? The new President can issue an immediate order right away though when he takes office on January 20, telling the agency the days of lax regulation enforcement are over, which should help if it does nothing else but sends a clear message to the tens of thousands who work at the FDA.

It's clear the economy is domestic priority number one for the President-Elect, who becomes the 44th U.S. President in 72 days. And that is how it should be. But it's also clear food safety will be pressed on the new President as a top concern as well -- from consumer advocates, health officials and even the food and agricultural industries.

It's going to be a tough, and expensive, 2009. But that's what HOPE is all about -- along with some good plans and strategies -- and a whole lot of good luck along with them.